Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
