Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
