I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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