sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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