I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
