I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
