This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A+ Viking dick
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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