Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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  (603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels (1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know http://tfl.nu/7nn4
  Replies (33) Good night (3137) Bad night (832)
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  (408): View more from California

  she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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  (408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo
  Replies (16) Good night (758) Bad night (3677)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

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  (269): i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently http://tfl.nu/x6zf
  Replies (17) Good night (5143) Bad night (744)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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  (867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0
  Replies (2) Good night (2114) Bad night (1653)
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  (408): View more from California

  A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.

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  (408): A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe. http://tfl.nu/7qkp
  Replies (6) Good night (1862) Bad night (1027)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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  (802): No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said. http://tfl.nu/3y67
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (1451)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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  (503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (1238)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!

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  (334): It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas! http://tfl.nu/ak8o
  Replies (1) Good night (1166) Bad night (797)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
  Replies (14) Good night (2907) Bad night (636)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch

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  (815): Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch http://tfl.nu/nhct
  Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (881)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

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  (+44): tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again http://tfl.nu/n6kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1986) Bad night (616)
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  (760): View more from California

  And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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  (760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

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  (408): We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate. http://tfl.nu/d3a6
  Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (418)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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  (716): Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride http://tfl.nu/1rhf
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?

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  (217): Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter? http://tfl.nu/zu2a
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (287)

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