Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.