My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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