i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?