guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.