Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
