Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
