Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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