We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
