ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
