I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
