I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
