I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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