His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
