what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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