So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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