okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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