do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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