I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
