Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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