Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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