if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
