So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
