I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
