remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
