Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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