I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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