New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So much rum. So many feels.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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