I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
