yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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