bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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