I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize