Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i am craving dick and cupcakes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
