Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
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im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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