I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
