He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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