maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
