I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
