We got so high we made milksteak
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
