shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
