Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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