i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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