No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
