We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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