Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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