...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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