I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
we should paint friendship bongs
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