So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
