I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
