You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
where am i from again
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
