In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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