I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
