The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
as a side note pls kill me
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