I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
