Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
