you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He has the fingertips of a God
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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