its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
