You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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