Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize