butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
