If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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